stressed the hell out

I feel completely horrible! I blew up at this couple today at Walmart, they cut in front of my friend and I. I made a comment for my friend to hear, not for the guy to hear. and he retorted with why do you have to have an offhanded comment, why not say it to my face. so I did.. words were said.. things were blown completely out of proportion.. The whole while I am thinking to myself,

"Why the hell does this even matter- its a spot in line at Walmart?" But I was standing my ground. The argument was going nowhere near a good direction. so being the bigger person I walked the hell away. even tho that spot was rightfully mine. lol

Why did it matter- any other day it wouldn't have. Jimmy and I frequently let people go in front of us. So why did i blow a gasket today?

Then I remembered a conversation I had earlier that day about the anatomy of a deployment.- granted its through the eyes of a sailor..here were her views

month one--- just like any underway- you are getting used to being out and away from your family

month two--- Its sinking in you aren't gonna be home soon

month three--- little things start irritating you- but as a mature adult you can handle the situations

Month 4 and 5--- you start blowing your gasket at the most random of things.

month 6 or 7--- you will be home soon nothing matters anymore.. nothing can bother you

this is where i need to make a change--- as a spouse the last couple of weeks are the most stressful. You have so much to do, so much to plan for, so many emotions coursing through your body that anything can make you snap. i mean seriously ladies we are trying to make sure everything is perfect--- our homecoming outfits our hair our nails his car is clean the house is immaculate... the kids are all in order.. and not breaking bones... etc you all know what we do in the weeks right before they come home.

so i know that couple will never read this blog- but i am sorry for blowing up at you... but i am also glad i did because i am pretty stress free now hahah! so thanks random strangers.

much love

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

He is coming home so soon! I am incredibly excited! Everything to prepare is basically done-- have to straighten up the house a bit more, but all the important things are done!

My homecoming out fit has been picked for months now. I have had my sign made for 2 and a half months!

now all thats left is mentally preparing.. I guess overall I am at the normal stages.. nearly everyone is agreeing with my fears and hopes... During this time I have found that I can't clearly explain how I am feeling.

I am anxious- I really can't wait for the day to get here... it still seems so far away-- even though it isn't.

I am elated- yes happier then happy ;) for the obvious reasons

I am proud of Him for doing his darndest to protect our freedoms, for handling the deployment as best he could, for staying in overall constant communication with me.

I am proud of ME!! I handled the deployment quite well to, no major disasters when things did go wrong i could handle it even though at first i thought I was unable to.

I am sad- though give me him home over what has made me sad any day-- sorry girls...

I am sad because My dear friend Hannah is leaving, in fact she left VA already- I hope to see her again in my lifetime- if not there is always Facebook, or the next social media hub,

My room mate has moved out to move in with her Boy friend--- though we had a few rough spots.. and annoyances I will miss having her to talk to whenever I wanted... but its for the best-- our freindship was getting a little rough.. *sorry if you didn't or don't agree Robin, but I know how I was feeling.

I have so many questions that are ridiculous.... I mean SERIOUSLY who asks themselves these things... Preview to whats going through my mind :

What if I forgot what he looks like??? uhm really I only looked at his picture daily.

What if he forgot what I look like... UHM he did the same.

What if we fight? uhm that almost inevitable...

What will we fight about? Does it matter? *ha answered with a question!! go me!!

What if we can't communicate through talking anymore? Then write it all down till we can derr!

Why am I so nervous?? Uhm another duh!!! I haven't seen him in nearly 7 months

What about ... sex * I so whispered that while typing hahaha!--- ERR like Nike says just do it!

hahaha while all that was entertaining--- I am beyond stoked.. I still have quite a few days-- and I know my anxiety levels will increase- But sooon... I will be to distracted to write ;) at least until he goes to work :D

I hope ya'll can relate to my blog in some way..

much love